Zejula, Harvey and Satan

Zejula is the oral chemo medication I have been taking. I started my third round one week ago. The last thirty days have not been my best. It started slowly...tired, short of breath. And mostly just not being my usual joyful self. As the weeks progressed, so did the complications. The chemo was causing me to become anemic...and you would be surprised how lousy you feel when you do not have enough oxygen rich blood pulsing through your body!  I felt bad and was a cranky cranky wife, mother and friend. Not the person I wanted to be and not the person I knew God had called me to be.

Then it dawned on me. I had been praying but I had not asked my prayer warriors to pray for me. The very people who had prayed me through the initial diagnosis, round one, round two and round three. What was I thinking? Did I think I could do this all by myself? I knew then, that I had denied myself God's blessings by not asking...not just for help with the chemo side effects, but also for my attitude, for the wisdom to see His grace and provisions, for asking for JOY and for a song of praise to fill my heart as I opened my eyes each morning. Why had I done that?!?!

I did not ask because of Harvey and because I felt my/our prayers needed to be lifted up for all those who had been so severely impacted by the storm/flood.

And who do you think was behind that? Satan. I did not see him coming and was totally unaware that he had a hold of me. He was filling me with LIES. And I was falling for them. He must have been thrilled that he was getting more and more control over my mind, that I was trying to handle more and more of it on my own, and that my prayers to God were getting quieter and quieter.

And then God opened my eyes. I was talking to a girlfriend about answered prayers and I realized my sin.  Oh my...why wasn't I asking for prayers? I needed prayers! And then I realized that Satan had been slowly creeping into my life for the past month. Satan brought darkness and he stole my joy. Romans 8:6 The mind of sinful man is death but the mind controlled by the spirit is life and peace. Get out of my life Satan! My mind will be controlled by the Holy Spirit.

Wasn't today a beautiful day? Cool, crisp, birds singing, sun shining through the trees...a beautiful gift given to us today by our heavenly Father. And I feel great! I have not felt this good in a month. God held my hand and lead me through the darkness. The Lord has done great things for me, and I am filled with joy. Psalm 126:3

This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad! I am rejoicing.

So prayer warriors, I need prayers...
that God will protect me from the side effects of the chemo pills and that the pills would target just the cancer and leave the rest of my organs alone!
that these pills will keep the cancer from progressing
that God will put a protective hedge around me and protect me from the influence of the devil!
that He would give to each of us going through a trail...a flood, an illness, loss of a loved one, financial woes, job troubles....what we need each day to walk in confidence knowing that our God is in control.

I have missed you all so much.
Love you,
Dee Dee

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Dear friends,
I have now been on my chemo pill(s...I take 3) for 7 doses  and the report is....

I am experiencing some side effects. Mainly headaches and feeling kind of yucky when I wake up. I am not by usual "bubbly" self in the morning...(many of you are probably thanking God for that!). And the best part is that all my blood work is good. Just like before with the chemo infusions, issues can arise with the RBC, WBC, and the platelets. But I just got the results of this morning's draw and those numbers are great. Praise God!!!! Thanks you prayer warriors. The headaches I can deal with and if the yucky feeling persist in the mornings, I will just stay home and spend more time with God... a very good plan.

This morning in Jesus Always I read this wonderful reminder. Put your trust in Me...I will not necessarily reveal future things to you, but I will show you the way through this day-step by step. So trust Me wholeheartedly, beloved, for I am taking care of you wonderfully well!

He is taking care of me wonderfully well...
He has, He is, He will. 

Love you all...
Dee Dee

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And so it goes...

The persistent cancer...
Yep! Apparently my 21 gun chemo salute to this cancer was not good enough. A CT scan in late July showed "something" and a PET scan confirmed the cancer is still there. The good news is that
Dr. Bevers is calling it persistent and not progressive. Meaning it is there, it can be seen on the PET (it actually lights up), but it is a subtle change-something that is so small it cannot be measured. I am imagining God's hand on it saying "this cancer is not going anywhere". But it is still there.

So until God chooses to heal me of this or takes His hand off of it, I am going back to chemo. This time an oral chemo. Dr. Bevers had spoken to me about this newly available maintenance drug before and I was leaning toward not taking it...mainly due to the cost. But on Friday, God opened door after door and I truly feel this drug is His plan for me. So I start these daily pills on Monday. This IS chemo, and there are many potential side effects, so once again I am asking for your prayers for protection from the harmful effects and that this pill would do what it is intended to do...keep the cancer from repairing itself and stay in the persistent stage and not progress. Truthfully, unless God heals me, this cancer will progress...cancer is very smart...but I pray that it will be many months down the road.

Psalm 139:16 "All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." I know this is His plan for me and I know that He is with me in this. I did not get the several month interval I was hoping for...but instead I got a new chapter in this trial...something new...something I know is from God. So I will continue to trust in my creator, my counselor, the one who holds my hand.  And with your help...with your prayers...it will all be for good.

Dee Dee

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The 21 gun salute to my ovarian cancer

Really, there were no guns, but Friday was my 21st chemo treatment...which is really not a big number in chemoland, but it is a big number to me! Maybe this perfect number (which it becomes when you divide by 3 equals 7) will be the cure...or maybe it will give me one year before a recurrence...who knows? Only God. But I was reminded in Jesus Always that I am not to let this cancer distract me from God (as it can do when I find myself getting anxious). Instead I WILL continue to see this as a gift from God. I WILL look for the pleasures and the responsibilities He has placed before me and I WILL continue to find joy in it by my TRUSTING in Him and His perfect plan. A great plan of action as I enter this period of my 21 chemo salute!

I continue to be amazed by the caliber of people who work at MDAnderson.  I was scheduled for this final chemo at the Main Building...where I had been once before and it was not a great experience. And after all, spa days should be a great experience! So, I was anxious (see above) but God had it all handled and it was a great experience. I had a wonderful nurse who ran things a bit differently, but was very detailed oriented and made sure I was aware of everything she was doing and most importantly WHY. Very reassuring things for me...and I imagine for any patient. And although it was a long day, it was a great day and I thank God, my doctor and nurses and MDAnderson for that!

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord; plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." In the past I have read this passage with all the hope of prospering me in the things I wanted...mainly material things (I know...what a failure). But I realize that He has "prospered" me, especially these past 3 1/2 years. Thru this gift...this trial, I have moved closer to Him. I rely on Him daily, I seek Him....those are the things that really matter. I am learning to turn it all over to His very capable and loving hands. My life has prospered greatly! And all of that HAS led me to hope and to know without a doubt my future. Oh what JOY!

I meet again with the doctor in four weeks. Then we will discuss and plan for the next step. There is a brand new chemo drug out there that is a possibility. Or we may choose a period of observation. I am leaning that way. "Be still and know that I am God". I think I will just rest with Him.

So, as I have done before as I end a round of chemo, this blog will become even more silent. It will still be around. And I may post from time to time when there is something to post. But please let me take this opportunity to tell you all how much your prayers, love and support have meant to me and Bruce and to all our family. I could never endured another round in the ring without each of you. You helped carry my burden, you lifted my spirits, you gave my much joy and so much hope by sharing your love for God and His word with me. Thank you for the wonderful gifts.

I end with singing to you (ok, you really have to read the words) a verse from one of my favorite songs about friendship...from Sara Groves Twice as Good

When I am down and need to cry till morning, I know just where I am going
When I'm in need of sweet commiseration to speak out loud 
Raise a glass to friendshop and to knowing, you don't have to go alone
We'll raise our hearts to share each others burdens on this road.

With every burden I have carried, with every joy it's uderstood
Life with you is half as hard and twice as good.

I could not have said it better.
Much, much to you all
Dee Dee

 

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Today was a big day for me...

As many of you know, today I had a Bevers appointment and would get the results of my CT Scan. I was betting that the scan would show that the tumor was still there....but I was WRONG! The scan was clear and the blood work is holding steady...all of which makes the good doctor and me very happy. So, these drugs have done their job. Praise God!! However, I will continue with three more chemo treatments just for good measure. Dr. Bevers and I are both aware that God can cure me of this cancer, but his experience says that we can't stop it from returning. We are just hoping that the three additional treatments will prolong the next recurrence. And that is good with me. So Friday will be another day at the spa!

I will continue to pray for God's healing and His protection for me from any adverse side effects from the treatments, but I praise God for all that He has done for me. He has blessed me with so much through all of this...more than I could ask for or imagined.

And all of you have been such a blessing. I thank God for each one of you.
Love, Dee Dee

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Let me clalrify a couple of things

The problem with this blog's written word - and pushing the "publish" button is that I CAN'T take it back. And that is what happened to me when I read my blog post from yesterday as it appeared in my "in" box. "Oh no....that is not what I meant to say!!!" But first I must explain why I did not catch my error before publishing the post.

In my "relaxed spa" state, I was working on writing the blog on my ipad  - which is not the best format for writing the blog. Things happen...I lose the cursor...and then when it gets to long, I cannot scroll back and forth to see what I have written. When I got to that point, I called the Communication Czar (aka daughter Lindsey in Austin) and asked her to go in remotely and see if she could read and help me figure out what needed fixing. Not an easy task...especially when you are in a "relaxed" state. So, a few corners got skipped, like proofing and the ability to write down a thought and being able to reread and see if that is what you meant to say. And this leads to my clarification.

I did not mean to imply that I have not been happy with and extremely proud of my husband's job or his ability to make great decisions in his successful career. No, it had more to do with my wants...the ability to go on vacation and be able to turn off the work phone (I know, no one gets that anymore), or for him to have the luxury of having an office manager, an IT person, etc...those things a bigger company might offer. He has done it all. Which speaks to the remarkableness of him...he had to learn, and do and be...at the office and at home. And he has done it all with lots of joy and some gripes, but he had done it and loves every minute or it and would not have it any other way. And either would I. But starting his own office did find me on my knees a lot. Which is why I mentioned those things. I did want you to see the the light bulb that went off yesterday was my seeing what I would have termed unanswered prayers were actually prayers answered with God saying "wait". And how perfect was that plan for "a time such as this."

Second clarification: the donuts were NOT for us...but for the nursing staff at MDA.

Love you all,
Dee Dee

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The Providential Hand of God....look for it

A note about the timing of this post... I worked on this last week and again yesterday. I wanted it posted prior to this "day at the spa". But it did not work, I don't know why, but you know the devil is in the details! And I could not get it to post this morning at 5:30 when I was sitting at my computer. Now I knowwhy...all about timing...and God not being finished with the post. Things added to the post this morning will be marked with Update.

In a Bible study this week we talked about the "providential hand of God"...God's hand in our lives. How He truly does work ALL things for good. Even if we can't see the good at the time. Even if we know it is not what we wanted, that the outcome is bad. It caused me to think about all the things in my past that have brought me where I am today. Starting with being raised by my folks in Mission, TX and going to Catholic school...good things. To meeting Bruce...a very good thing. To my children and their spouses. God's hand was in all of it. There were many ups and downs...many crisis...many doors closed (thank you God!) and many doors opened (thank you God!)  But when you stop and look back you can see how each thing played out perfectly "for such a time as this" Esther 4:14. I  suggest that this is a wonderful exercise, a wonderful growing in faith exercise for all of us  Think about the past, all the good and bad, and look for God's hand in your life.

Update:I looked up from my reading this morning as we were driving to the med center. 6:45. A bit late. We were late because we stopped for Shipley donuts and we still needed to stop and pick up breakfast. But I had already prayed for peace, so I settled back for the rest of the trip. We were on Bellaire heading to MDA where the railroad tracks cross Bellaire...one with crossing arms... which were still up. As we crossed over I saw the train headed our way, maybe two or three streets over (hence the arms were still up. Did not want you to think that we tried to outrun the train!). If we had been a few seconds later, that long train would have stopped us and I would have gone bonkers! But it didn't. God had timed it perfectly. Yes, I do believe that is my growing awareness of the providential hand of God.

Update: I am now at MDA receiving my 6th "spa"treatment with super efficient Titus as my nurse.
All is going great.  After chemo 5, I experienced many days of fatigue and a muddled mind...and I did not like it one bit! Honestly I think I was afraid it might not go away and that this may be my new normal. I got all anxious about it - anxious anxiety. But Psalm 62:5 reminded me "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trust in you." So this was another example of my need to call on God, to put my trust in Him and His perfect plan for me. Praise God, the fatigue only lasted four and 3/4 days, but it left and I was back to my old self. (Correction: the fatigue left...not to sure about the muddled mind!) In Streams in the Desert I read "God provides resting places as well as working places. So rest and be thankful when He brings you, tired and weary to streams along the way." Yes, fatigue and a muddled mind are from God and I will joyfully accept them and rest. So my day at the"spa" will be followed by restful days at home. And I will whisper to the Lord for help when my foggy brain prevents me from spending quality time with Him.  I will ask God to be with me instead of giving into the foggyness. God has it all planned, I just need to trust Him more.

Update: another example of God's providential hand. Titus, my nurse just asked me what business Bruce was in. He has noticed that he comes and goes without a schedule. I explained that he was self employed and in commercial real estate and that he spends a lot of time in his car. And then it dawned on me. This occupation and his 20 years being his own man has made it possible for Bruce to be where I need him when I need him. This occupation that has many successful years and many stressful years (and when I say stressful years I mean more than 1 or 5 or...I bet you get my drift.) Seventen years later, this self employed guy can be here for me all the time, joyfully changing his schedule to work with my treatments, doctor visits, etc. God knew about this long ago and set things in motion to work it for my good...even though I am sure I prayed for a fantastic job with a great company who probably would not have been as accommodating of Bruce's schedule as I would like. God did not answer that prayer, asking me to trust in him and to wait on His timing. This was a light bulb moment for me, showing me God's providential hand.

I don't know what the plan will be after this. I will have another scan in 3 weeks and then we will sit down with Dr. Bevers to see what's next.  But I am commanding myself NOT to look to far ahead or I might miss what God has in store for me. I am waiting expectantly to experience the blessings God has for me today, tomorrow and next week...as I rest in Him. I hope you do the same.

Thanks again for being such a blessing.

Dee Dee

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#5 "spa day" went beautifully!

God continues to provide for me...especially on my spa days. My sisters Anne and Ellen were with me...and that brought a delightful change of pace for my day at the spa. And Anne even reminded me that I needed patience as we approached the check in for my 7am appointment. (She said this because she was remembering my "rant" from chemo #4 when I was delayed over 2 hours...) And it was a good thing she had sent patience vibes my was because when I checked in I was told my chemo appointment had been CANCELLED!!!! Patience...Patience. But the situation was quickly cleared up and away I went to my "spa" room. Titus was not my nurse, but he did check on me often. I had another super efficient nurse...Jackie, who did a super job. We were even home earlier enough to have a short nap before heading to our regular Friday night Mexican food. It is a wonderful thing when you can toxic drugs flowing through your body and you still feel like eating Mexican food. You might not see that as God's protection, but I certainly do!

Chemo #6 is scheduled for April 21. After that I will have another CT Scan and then Dr. Bevers, Bruce and I will have a discussion about the next plan of action. I don't know what I need...but I know that God does and I ask that as you pray for me that you ask Him to give me what I need. I know that I am in His hands, that this cancer is in His control and that He continues to have the perfect plan for me. My trust and faith in God and my love for Him is stronger than ever, and that is a joyful place to be.

And thanks to all of you for your prayers and support. Your thoughts, prayers and actions have done so much to keep me filled with joy and hope and love and peace. I can never thank y'all enough.

Meanwhile, I hope you all are enjoying this beautiful weather. This is the day the Lord has made.

Love, Dee Dee 

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Turn back the calendar, please!

Where has the time gone? Time is just flying by! But let's pretend that today is Monday, March 13th...three days after my 4th chemo treatment. Because I wanted to write this post for that day but time got away from me (well, my grandchildren could have had something to do with that...)

So, chemo #4 went beautifully, and it started with the most beautiful pink sunrise in the sky as Bruce and I drove to the med center on Friday, March 10th. I just love the paintings God places in the sky just for us to see. "This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it"  We were on time...ready for my 7 am start...unfortunately my orders were not, and we had to wait two hours before I got called back to the "spa". But super efficient Titus, RN was ready for me and he was determined to make it the best day ever...so it was. I got my treatment and that is all that really mattered.

Sunday, March 12th, was another beautiful day. Following our Sunday School lesson, the members of our class surrounded Bruce and I in prayer for healing. It was a wonderful, intimate time being in the presence of our Lord, praising Him, believing that He can and asking that He will heal me of this cancer. What a wonderful start of the week!

Then Monday, March 13th, Jesus Always had this to say.   "I am doing a new thing. Be on the lookout for all that I am accomplishing in your life. Ask me to open the eyes of your mind and heart so you can see the many opportunities I've placed along your path. Remember that I can make a way where there appears to be no way. With me all things are possible."   Now that is something to read after you have just experienced a mighty "prayer for healing" time. Matthew 19:26 says "Jesus looked at them and said, "with man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible." Now I know this does not mean God will heal me...He may or may not. His will, not mine. But I do know He is with me on this path and that He has given and will continue to give me opportunities...opportunities to glorify Him as we walk together. And that brings such JOY!

And now we have the beautiful season of Spring. Where the flowers are blooming, the trees are their beautiful "new green"color. The birds are singing, baby birds are hatching (in my outdoor speakers), the weather is cool and the mosquitoes are not biting...yet. It is a time of renewal. And as we make space for new annuals in our gardens, let's make sure we make space for God...make time to encounter Him. Let Him work in our hearts and minds. Experience all the beauty God has planned for you. Get alone with Him and talk with Him. Or better yet...just listen. He loves us and has great plans for all of us.

My phoenix sisters Anne and Ellen will be arriving in Texas on Saturday for a week. Anne has wanted to experience Round Top, so that is first on our agenda. Plus I have a few other fun things in store as we travel the Houston, Austin, Round Top route. On Friday, March 31st, they will be visiting with me at the "spa" for my 5th chemo treatment. We might continue with our self-taught knitting (which we started during Round2) or we might make it a "movie day at the spa". But whatever we do, it will be fun as these two girls know how to have fun and they always make me smile. 

I am so thankful for family, for prayer warriors and for of you who continue to shower me/us with prayers, love, support, laughter and encouragement. I/we could not do this without all of you.

Love you all, Dee Dee

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Yep! We are good to go...

The good doctor confirmed on Wednesday that this cancer is responding to the chemo. God is using His healing powers to continue to shrink the cancerous tumor. It is not completely gone...yet...but it is shrinking in size. Praise God!! And I continue to feel wonderful!!! So, chemo #4 is scheduled for this Friday. I will check in at "the spa" at my usual 7 am time. I will ask again for Titus, the Marvelous Nurse...but if he is not there or not available...I know that is OK because God showed me last time there is more than one marvelous nurse in the Mays Clinic on Fridays. Yep, all is good. Thanks be to God and to all of you for your prayers and support and for sending me wonderful scripture verses that just speak to me and my needs, concerns, wants. It is marvelous how God really does give us all the answers we need in The Book...we just have to read it and read it with a mind asking God to show us what it is He wants us to take away from what we are reading. Treasures!

And all of you are treasures. I could never do this without God leading the way and y'all holding my hands! You are the best!

Hoping each of you have a wonderful weekend filled with joy!

Much, much love,
Dee Dee

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My life has been forever changed!

That is probably not big news to you.  After all, anyone with a cancer diagnosis would probably say that. But the "forever changed" part is not due to the cancer...it is due to what this cancer has moved me toward...a closer, trusting, joyful, thankful, grateful relationship with my Heavenly Father.   The joy of the Lord is my strength.   This overwhelming feeling of joy is a wonderful result of the knowledge that God is there for me. He has a perfect plan for me. That I was born by His purpose and for His purpose. The online daily devotional First15 says "God has designed us to see Him, to know His character and to let the truth of His goodness lead us into deeper relationship with Him. In seeing God for who He is, our hearts are naturally stirred to find rest in His goodness." I have indeed found rest in His goodness.

All of us have trials... all of us suffer. But trials can be and should be used to grow us. We usually want help in a trial; someone to talk to, to counsel us, to comfort us, to hold our hand. I wanted all those things in January 2014 when I started this journey. And I found that help. I have grown. I am invited to sit and talk, to pour out my soul, to cry, to laugh, to ask questions, and to just rest...to be still and to listen. God gives me all those things. And as a result, I am at peace. And so thankful for His plan! Can you tell I am in a good place? I am, and I hope all of you are also. If not, take time to sit alone with God. He is ready to hear whatever is on your mind.

And speaking of what is on your mind...I must clear something up. On Sunday, something was said of me that I now realize might have been misunderstood. It was said that I got some "bad news". Those hearing it thought it was RECENT bad news, WHICH IT WAS NOT. The bad news was in reference to news in January of the cancer recurrence. THINGS ARE GOOD! Honestly, no bad news. Everything is good.

I will see the good doctor next Wednesday, and will get an update regarding the effectiveness of this chemo treatment and hopefully clearance for chemo on Friday, March 10th. So prayer warriors, I ask for your continual prayers for protection from adverse effects of the chemo...that it targets the bad cells and leaves alone all the good ones, and that it KILLS this cancer. 

I continue to be so very thankful for all of you. And so very blessed to have each of you in my life. "Life with you is half as hard and twice as good". 

Dee Dee

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Half way through Round 3...and all is Very, Very Good

Hi Wonderful Friends...yes, I am officially half way finished with Round 3 of chemo! Time really does fly when you are having fun...or at least finding joy in all the unexpected places. My CA125s continue with the desired downward trend...win, and the chemo infusions just keep getting more and more efficient. This time I was finished in 7.5 hours. I think that is a record, and I imagine will be the best possible time I can expect. And it was done without the super efficient nurse...as it was his day off. But what I did learn on Friday, is that there is more than one super efficient nurse in the chemo infusion area. It was a very, very good day.

I get half way done and I am filled with such joy and hope. I still pray that God will heal me, and maybe this time.... But I am prepared for whatever His plan is....I know He is in control and that He is holding my hand through all of this...could I ask for anything more? Nope!

As I headed to chemo, this was the message for me from Jesus,Always.  "Jesus made the agonizing choice to endure the cross for the Joy set before Him - the eternal pleasure of bringing His followers to Glory. I am to choose Joy, by fixing my eyes on Him and looking for treasures in my trials." And that is what I am choosing to do...look for the many treasures in this trial. It does make things so much easier. Knowing God makes things so much easier. As I visited with a member of my church on Friday in the chemo room, both of us being cancer survivors, we commented that we could not imagine how anyone goes through trials without God. Hopefully those individuals see a difference in those who have faith in God and are sure He is with them and that He has a plan for them and a plan for anyone who invites Him into their life. All anyone needs to do is ASK. He is there for ALL. Because there are so many blessings, so much peace. Isaiah 26:3 "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trust in you."

All of you are wonderful...you make this journey so bearable. I realize not everyone going through a trial has the kind of support I have experienced. What a blessing each of you have been to me and my family. Your prayers, kind words, concern, encouragement....you make my heart so very happy and my days/weeks/months/years so joyful. I remain thankful and grateful. You all are the BEST!

I am off to nap. Chemo gives me such a good excuse to nap! (Like I needed one!)
Love to you all...
Dee Dee

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No news really is good news!

I've looked back at my older writings, and there seems to be a pattern with me. Once I get started with chemo, I find that I have little to report. And if I was not the one experiencing all these things, I imagine that I would be wanting to here what was going on with the cancer patient whose blog I was reading trying to be informed of how she was doing.   So, let me say that I am good. And I realize that IS NOT by chance, but by God's design. No news just means that your prayers to God on my behalf are being answered as He keeps His hands on Bruce and me...as He continues to protect me from the really bad possible effects of chemo, as He allows the chemo to work...destroying the cancer so that my CA125s are headed back down...as He gives me great quality to every day that He is giving me, that He continues to surround me with loving, supportive family and friends. His ways are awesome!!! No doubt about it!!!! He is a loving God...a loving Father!!!! And He is holding my hand. Amazing!!!!!!

And speaking of holding my hand...thanks all of you for sending cards for the Morale Project2. I just love seeing the envelopes as they come in the mail, putting them in the Morale Basket...and the pulling one a day out at random. It is so awesome to hear from you, to laugh with you or to be inspired by the scripture you share with me. Thanks for thinking of me and for lifting my spirits on a daily basis.

My 3rd chemo treatment is scheduled for this Friday, Feb. 17th. I will see the good doctor on Wednesday where we will check on my blood work and make sure all is good to go for #3. If I get the OK, I will report again to the Main Campus at 7 am for the "day at the spa". I expect all will be good, but if not, I promise to report that to you ASAP.

But life goes on and just keeps getting better and better. February is a big month for the Finchers. Thirty four years ago, Bruce's birthday present was our daughter who arrived three weeks early. And on Feb. 6, 2017, we welcomed into the world our third grandson, and Travis and Lyndsays's second son...William James Fincher. February is an Awesome month! So, I am finding much to "be joyful always" about.

Thanks all of you. You make this journey half as hard and twice as good.
Dee Dee

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I am still at the spa, and all is going well!

Just a short report to let you know that all has gone well today...as of right now.

Bruce and I arrived at the appointed 7 am, but it was still 8 am before they called me back. And yes, the orders were signed! God was reminding me that I need to practice patience, and I was much better, kinder to the staff this time :). Thank you God for the reminder that You have this all planned, even when things run late by my earthly clock but not late by your Godly clock.

And prayer was answered as Titus, RN The Efficient was on duty today and my request to have him as my nurse was granted. Nice! So, I learned something...if you want something, if something matters -ASK. all they can say is no. And it did make for a happier day for me and happy is a good thing when you are in Chemoland...I mean "the spa".

And last but not least, an observations. Baked treats go a very long way in spreading happiness. I brought mini apple muffins for the infusion staff and they were so appreciative. It does not take much to make them happy and I felt good doing something tangible to show my appreciation of them.

The fourth and final bag is now going. This is the full strength Carboplatin, the one that can cause an allergic reaction. But I am feeling good and know this will be fine.

I will try to post later in the week, but I did want you all to know how much I appreciated your prayers today as God continues to protect me from the harmful effects of this toxic but life prolonging juice.

Please continue to pray for protection from the potential chemo side effects: nausea, vomiting, decreased platelets.

Love you all!!!! I/We could not do this without you! 

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Getting ready for a day at "the spa"

It's that time again...another scheduled appointment at the MDAnderson "spa". I check in tomorrow at 7 am, and Dr. Bevers promises me that he has signed my orders meaning I should not be delayed in getting started like last time. But like last time, I AM hoping that the fabulous and efficient nurse Titus will be my infusion nurse. (Maybe we can put that on the prayer list?)

Dr Bevers was pleasantly surprised that I did not have a reaction to the new drug Avastin. I know that was a direct result of God's grace and protection and the power of prayer.  I ask that you would again cover me in prayer...for protection from any adverse effects from the drugs (at the time of infusion and the days following) and that the drugs will continue to destroy ALL the cancer cells. We do know that the drugs are working as my CA125 is headed down, which is good news and is a blessing from the Great Healer. This time around, the good doctor is more concerned with my platelets than my white blood cells, so could we add that to the prayer request also?...that God will protect my platelets.

God continues to give me JOY and PEACE and HOPE as He walks with me in this journey. He continues to give me just what I need, filling my days with His love and assurance that this is His plan for me and surrounding me with love and support and caring and JOY from my family and friends. This IS the best way to do the cancer walk...with God leading the way and all of you walking along beside me. Words cannot express how thankful and grateful I am for each of you.

Thanks also for the Morale Project 2.0 cards. I love the surprises found within each one. They definitely put a smile on my face.

I will let you know how things go tomorrow. But in the meantime, remember..."This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

Dee Dee

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I know I am always curious, so just in case you are also...A Post Chemo Report

Once again, God's protection has surrounded me from any obvious adverse effects from the chemo. We had an extremely busy weekend following Friday's "spa" treatment. Parker Fincher celebrated his first birthday at the zoo on Saturday morning and all family and lots of friends were in attendance. So, this grandma was in top form. (Thank you  God) followed by having daughters, sons, grandchildren at the house on Saturday for a post party wrap up and just plain joy being together. That was probably the best medicine for my soul.

Monday and today I am feeling a bit "spaced out". But then I realize some of you might be reading this and think, "What! Does she think that is a something new?" So, maybe this is just the usual "me". But it is all OK  All is good  and God is so good!

Someone asked me how they could pray for me. So, I gave him a list. Then he suggested I might admit I really did not know "what" to pray for, but that God did, and ask God to give me what I needed. That really takes the pressure off! Right, I don't need to tell Him, I just have to ask Him to give me what I need...one step at a time.

I awoke many times last night questioning so many things. But this morning as I laid in bed and said "Good Morning God", I also asked Him to be a lamp to my feel (Psalm 119:105 "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path.") I was/am asking His word to give me just enough light to see a short distance ahead (I copied that from somewhere)...one step at a time. And then I headed to the kitchen table and open my ipad to a daily devotional that gave me the encouragement and "light" I had just asked Him for. Isn't He amazing!!! I have never doubted that He was on this journey with me, but lately I was not sure I was reaching out for His hand...although I knew He had His stretched out for me...just waiting. What a patient, loving Father. And through it all, I am loving Him more and more. So today is a great day. God continues to bless me with His JOY which no one and no CANCER can take from me!!!

And I continue to thank you all for your PRAYERS, love, support and caring...for me and all my family.

Love you all,
Dee Dee

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Morale Project 2.0!

Happy Sunday, Friends!

I didn't want to post on the blog before mom did, but I'm sure as soon as you saw her post on Friday you wondered "Is Lindsey going to do a project this time around?" 😉  Yes, yes I am.

Anyone who has ever had a baby can relate to this feeling.  You put the newborn down and crawl into bed yourself- exhausted.  When the baby wakes up 2 hours later, you do what needs to be done and go back to bed.  But when the baby wakes up for the third time during the same night, you lie there for a second and thing "Ugh. Really?  Now?  I don't want to do this right now."  But you do because you have to.  I think that's the general feeling our family is having about the recurrence.  Exhale. Sigh.  Ok. Let's do it again.

She's still wonder woman (I mean really, who finishes chemo and then goes to eat Mexican food?  Dee Dee) and God still has this.  But we aren't starting this race after a good nights sleep and a pasta meal.  Can you help me with morale?

Just like the first time, please send anything that might bring a smile on a hard day.  Could be inspirational, humorous, or something to totally distract the mind.  Write Morale Project 2.0 on the envelope and mom will stick them in a box to pull from when she needs them.  Mail them to:

Dee Dee Fincher
310 Duncaster Drive
Houston, Texas 77079

I really appreciate everyone helping me support my mom!

Much love,
Lindsey

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Starting my new year at "the spa"!

My start to 2017 includes a day at "the spa" also known as Chemoland at M D Anderson.

Yes, we ended 2016 with the knowledge that the cancer had returned :(. The good news is there continues to be a plan and this time no surgery is involved. I have passed "Go" and have headed straight to chemotherapy.

This is like deja vu for me and my family. Cancer and the recurrence of cancer seem to go together for me in January. God in His infinite wisdom has made remembering these dates for me simple: Jan. 13,2014, initial surgery and Round 1 chemo; Jan. 11, 2016, second surgery and Round 2 chemo;
Jan. 6, 2017 (today) , Round 3 chemo! However, after the first interval, we were expecting that IF there was a recurrence, it would show up in 2018! My plan, not God's. He had a better/different plan for me.

So, this morning at 7 am (our choice...we beat the traffic) I reported to the Mays Clinic at MDA (aka "the mothership") to begin chemo. We are using one familiar drug Carboplatin...which I have had a small reaction to in the past..we will see what today brings, and a new drug Avastin, which the good doc describes as being "well tolerated". And as an added bonus, Avastin replaces the drug Taxol which was the one that caused my hair to fall out. So, I get to keep growing my curly locks which have been working very hard at trying to grow into long locks, and they have a long way to go!

The Bible verse I clung to last year was 1Thessalomians 5:16-18, "Be joyful always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." Still one of my favorites, but after my Dec.7th doctor visit and the recurrence was confirmed, I found myself saying "Really! really?" But I knew the answer was " Yes, really!" In all things -for it is His will for me.

So today I went to "the spa" I had requested the facial, mani/pedi package,but it was not available. After all, it is a highly specialized "spa". However, they did insist I take the "super hydration" package, so I have lots of IV fluids running thru lots of tubing! And since candles are not allowed in this particular "spa", I scented my room with the "volcano" room spray which provided the most relaxing ambiance for my magazine reading. 

And when today is all over-when the"hydration" is complete and the tubing is tossed, I will put on my big girl panties and walk out of here being grateful, thankful, joyful, and hopeful (May the God of hope fill me with all joy and peace as I trust in Him so that I may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.  Romans 15:3)

Please move me and my family back up on your prayer list.  Prayers continue to be the very best medicine!

Love you all,
Dee Dee

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