FIRST, the MD ANDERSON race: It was a blast. I and my family were surrounded by wonderful friends who made us laugh, gave us big hugs, encouraged us in walking more or agreeing with us that it really was time to head back to the finish line...early, drank Mimosa with us and enjoyed the tailgate spread after the race. We had all ages there including many young moms with their baby in strollers and many glowing pregnant women ( I think the glow was from the pregnancy but could have been from Houston's humidity!). I was happy to see the young women because Ovarian Cancer can effect young women also and their fertility will be threatened. So EARLY DETECTION and symptom awareness is very important! I will plan to do the race next year, going back to having my own team, so put Saturday, May 6, 2017 on your calendars now. I've already got my idea for a T-shirt. Not sure it will be "safety green" (although we DID stand out) which was the color chosen by this year's t-shirt designer, but I have the "tag"line. Thanks again for all of those who were there. And for those of you who were not there...we know you were there with us in spirit.
SECOND, the sixth and FINAL chemo is being infused now!! Did you read that...FINAL one going now. We reported at our appointed time...7am. It was 7:50 when they called me back, 8:10 when they started the pre-chemo drugs and 9am is when the first chemo Taxol was started. It will be finished at 12 noon. Then the Carboplatin is started for its 4 hour run. I am planning on a 5pm quitting time. YEA! Regardless when I leave, I will leave happy because this is the FINAL time!!!!!!!! I do not expect any set backs because when you are this close to the FINAL time, it would take something MAJOR to stop the process. And I truly feel this FINAL time is in God's plan for me today. So just know that today, May 16, 2016 is/was a wonderful day for me.
No so for my friend Shannon. This young mother came to MDA for treatment for scarcom from Alabama. I met her through a Houston friend whose daughter teaches with Shannon. She and her mom came in October? 2014 and lived here till August or September 2015? ( I am not really sure of the dates, but the dates don't matter. The point is they were here for a LONG time). They lived
here staying in hotels and extended stay apartments without family and friends -and for much of that they did it all without a car. The stories her mom could tell about Houston's mass transit! But the good news is First Baptist Church was able to give them a loaner car and had placed them in a free apartment. She returned to her home and family...husband, an elementary age daughter and a middle school son and was continuing treatment at the local med center...but we all knew it would be a matter of time. She was a fighter and a strong Christian, and she passed away yesterday. The funeral is tomorrow. Please pray for them and her mom, who has now lost her only child.
Lessons learned: I have always said it takes a Village to raise a child. What I never realized till now is the need for that Village does NOT go away when that child is grown. We still need the
Village...maybe this time for us. We need a Village for the "curves" life throws at us, for the challenges God puts in our paths; loss of a child, a grandchild, a spouse, caring for an aging parent, cancer. I marvel when I think of ALL THE BLESSINGS I have received from each of you. Your prayers to Almighty God have covered me, protected me from chemo's severe adverse effects (after all how many cancer patients gain weight while going through chemotherapy?) and kept me filled with HOPE and JOY. God has put friends in my life who have offered unconditional help, love and a listening ear whenever I feel like I need it and He has given me new friends who share the same diagnosis as me, either directly or indirectly, who I know will be a source of helpful first hand knowledge that will help me navigate future questions and concerns. All part of His perfect plan for me...and Bruce...and Lindsey (and her gang)...and Travis (and his gang). This is His plan and He meant it for good and I know something good will come from this experience. AWESOME!!!
Where do we go from here? As far as the medical side...in early June I will have another CT scan (which I know will be negative...just like the one after chemo #3) and more blood work (CA125...which I know will be normal). These results will be my new "baseline" from which all future scans and blood values will be measured. I will see the good doctor after this test for my new "baseline" exam. Then I will be scheduled to see him every 3 months for 2 years, then every 6 months for 3 years. Which is the same protocol as last time. He and I and his whole medical team pray that I get a full five years or more. Dr. Bevers does not put limits on God. He too knows anything is possible with God - BUT - his medical knowledge and experience tells him that my recurrent ovarian cancer is a tough one to beat. (There are many, many types of ovarian cancer - made up of different cell structures and sites of origin. This is a major factor in the prescribed treatment plan and in life expectancy.) And this brings me to my current conversation with God and my walk in faith.
I do know God is the great healer. That He can cure me of this cancer. He can make it go away with one word - one thought. BUT, I also know He has a plan for me, and it might mean NOT curing me. Does that mean He is ignoring my prayer request and yours? No!! It means I am not praying the right prayer...not my will, but His.
Job reminds me to "Submit to God and be at peace with Him, in this way prosperity will come to you" Job 22:21. Job - now there was a man who knew a lot about suffering! And he gives such encouragement. Submit, be at peace, good things will happen. The good things He has planned for me. It might not feel good, I might not like it, but He loves me and He wants the best for me and my future and the future of others who walk this walk with me and might see something in this experience that might change their lives. That's the good, the prosperity He is talking about. I am to be His servant, being used by Him for good. That is a awesome task! Am I up to it?
I am struggling because some have suggested that my healing will not be complete because I do not truly believe this cancer will never come back. As if to imply I do not have enough faith. I know that can happen if it is His will - but it must be His will. I know that God may answer the prayers of those who have healing prayers over me, but it must be His will - not the person praying - they are just God's instrument being used by God as He directs. And I am OK with that - but I wish I knew now what the outcome will be. Is that lack of faith? Shouldn't I be content knowing He is walking thru this with me. That I am in His arms, that He is holding my hand. Shouldn't I just take one step at a time, praising God always; being thankful for each beautiful, pain free day that He give me - taking just one step at a time? I know the answer is yes, but I am still asking Him for a sign. Maybe I will be asking for that sign for the next 5,10 or 15 years. And then it will dawn on me that I am pretty slow on seeing the "asked" for sign from God. So there you have it...another prayer request.
Time to close this blog. Thank you all for your prayers, support, love, friendship, caring, laughter, food, companionship and all the other things you did for me that I am forgetting to be thankful for. Let's promise to always offer these things to each other - to all God's children. I bet you have a new someone who needs to be at the top of your prayer list, top of the encouragement and support list. Don't get me wrong, I still want to be on your list, just move me to the bottom because I will always need prayers. And please let me do the same for you. Please let me know when you have a prayer need or if you just want to talk to someone who promises to be a listening ear. A sounding board. I will be your girl. I want to be there for you just as you have been there for me.What joy each of you has been to me. I am so thankful that God gave each of you to me. What an AWESOME God.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am so richly blessed to know each of you.
With much love and a thankful heart...
Dee Dee & Bruce
SECOND, the sixth and FINAL chemo is being infused now!! Did you read that...FINAL one going now. We reported at our appointed time...7am. It was 7:50 when they called me back, 8:10 when they started the pre-chemo drugs and 9am is when the first chemo Taxol was started. It will be finished at 12 noon. Then the Carboplatin is started for its 4 hour run. I am planning on a 5pm quitting time. YEA! Regardless when I leave, I will leave happy because this is the FINAL time!!!!!!!! I do not expect any set backs because when you are this close to the FINAL time, it would take something MAJOR to stop the process. And I truly feel this FINAL time is in God's plan for me today. So just know that today, May 16, 2016 is/was a wonderful day for me.
No so for my friend Shannon. This young mother came to MDA for treatment for scarcom from Alabama. I met her through a Houston friend whose daughter teaches with Shannon. She and her mom came in October? 2014 and lived here till August or September 2015? ( I am not really sure of the dates, but the dates don't matter. The point is they were here for a LONG time). They lived
here staying in hotels and extended stay apartments without family and friends -and for much of that they did it all without a car. The stories her mom could tell about Houston's mass transit! But the good news is First Baptist Church was able to give them a loaner car and had placed them in a free apartment. She returned to her home and family...husband, an elementary age daughter and a middle school son and was continuing treatment at the local med center...but we all knew it would be a matter of time. She was a fighter and a strong Christian, and she passed away yesterday. The funeral is tomorrow. Please pray for them and her mom, who has now lost her only child.
Lessons learned: I have always said it takes a Village to raise a child. What I never realized till now is the need for that Village does NOT go away when that child is grown. We still need the
Village...maybe this time for us. We need a Village for the "curves" life throws at us, for the challenges God puts in our paths; loss of a child, a grandchild, a spouse, caring for an aging parent, cancer. I marvel when I think of ALL THE BLESSINGS I have received from each of you. Your prayers to Almighty God have covered me, protected me from chemo's severe adverse effects (after all how many cancer patients gain weight while going through chemotherapy?) and kept me filled with HOPE and JOY. God has put friends in my life who have offered unconditional help, love and a listening ear whenever I feel like I need it and He has given me new friends who share the same diagnosis as me, either directly or indirectly, who I know will be a source of helpful first hand knowledge that will help me navigate future questions and concerns. All part of His perfect plan for me...and Bruce...and Lindsey (and her gang)...and Travis (and his gang). This is His plan and He meant it for good and I know something good will come from this experience. AWESOME!!!
Where do we go from here? As far as the medical side...in early June I will have another CT scan (which I know will be negative...just like the one after chemo #3) and more blood work (CA125...which I know will be normal). These results will be my new "baseline" from which all future scans and blood values will be measured. I will see the good doctor after this test for my new "baseline" exam. Then I will be scheduled to see him every 3 months for 2 years, then every 6 months for 3 years. Which is the same protocol as last time. He and I and his whole medical team pray that I get a full five years or more. Dr. Bevers does not put limits on God. He too knows anything is possible with God - BUT - his medical knowledge and experience tells him that my recurrent ovarian cancer is a tough one to beat. (There are many, many types of ovarian cancer - made up of different cell structures and sites of origin. This is a major factor in the prescribed treatment plan and in life expectancy.) And this brings me to my current conversation with God and my walk in faith.
I do know God is the great healer. That He can cure me of this cancer. He can make it go away with one word - one thought. BUT, I also know He has a plan for me, and it might mean NOT curing me. Does that mean He is ignoring my prayer request and yours? No!! It means I am not praying the right prayer...not my will, but His.
Job reminds me to "Submit to God and be at peace with Him, in this way prosperity will come to you" Job 22:21. Job - now there was a man who knew a lot about suffering! And he gives such encouragement. Submit, be at peace, good things will happen. The good things He has planned for me. It might not feel good, I might not like it, but He loves me and He wants the best for me and my future and the future of others who walk this walk with me and might see something in this experience that might change their lives. That's the good, the prosperity He is talking about. I am to be His servant, being used by Him for good. That is a awesome task! Am I up to it?
I am struggling because some have suggested that my healing will not be complete because I do not truly believe this cancer will never come back. As if to imply I do not have enough faith. I know that can happen if it is His will - but it must be His will. I know that God may answer the prayers of those who have healing prayers over me, but it must be His will - not the person praying - they are just God's instrument being used by God as He directs. And I am OK with that - but I wish I knew now what the outcome will be. Is that lack of faith? Shouldn't I be content knowing He is walking thru this with me. That I am in His arms, that He is holding my hand. Shouldn't I just take one step at a time, praising God always; being thankful for each beautiful, pain free day that He give me - taking just one step at a time? I know the answer is yes, but I am still asking Him for a sign. Maybe I will be asking for that sign for the next 5,10 or 15 years. And then it will dawn on me that I am pretty slow on seeing the "asked" for sign from God. So there you have it...another prayer request.
Time to close this blog. Thank you all for your prayers, support, love, friendship, caring, laughter, food, companionship and all the other things you did for me that I am forgetting to be thankful for. Let's promise to always offer these things to each other - to all God's children. I bet you have a new someone who needs to be at the top of your prayer list, top of the encouragement and support list. Don't get me wrong, I still want to be on your list, just move me to the bottom because I will always need prayers. And please let me do the same for you. Please let me know when you have a prayer need or if you just want to talk to someone who promises to be a listening ear. A sounding board. I will be your girl. I want to be there for you just as you have been there for me.What joy each of you has been to me. I am so thankful that God gave each of you to me. What an AWESOME God.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I am so richly blessed to know each of you.
With much love and a thankful heart...
Dee Dee & Bruce