This is so good...I just have to share it!

In case you could not read between the lines of yesterday's post, let me interpret.  I have already decided that the next CT scan will show disease progression and the CA125 will confirm that with it's continual upward trend. Did you get that? I have decided! (Dear Lord, please forgive me.) I want to trust...I believe I am trusting in God...and then I go and do things on my own.

This morning after being up for a few hours, I was wanting to lay down for a bit...BUT instead God called me to my quiet spot to get alone with Him and to read my devotionals.

Jesus Calling     March 29... 

"STOP TRYING TO WORK THINGS OUT

 before their times have come.

 Accept the limitations of living one day at a time..."

 Needless to say that got my attention. I could just imagine God sitting across from me, looking at me with a twinkle in His eye and a smile on His face...and the overwhelming power of His love. Best feeling ever! He ALWAYS knows what we need and when we need it. And He is not angry for our failure...His hand is still outstretched toward us or in my case, He shows me that loving "twinkle" in His eye.

Streams in the Desert for March 29 talked about how God knows what we need. Which reminded me of something a wise man once told me. In praying for me, he did not know what I needed, but he knew that God did and he prayed that God would give me what I needed. That is a good prayer for anyone and especially a cancer patient. Sometimes I don't know what I need, even though I may think I do. But God does. He is faithful. 

I hope your day/week will be filled with many awarenesses of God in your life. That you will see/hear all the ways He is speaking to you. Could be a sunrise, a song or a devotional reading that hits the nail on the head. Make time for Him. He is waiting for you. 

Love to you all, 

Dee Dee

Leave a Comment

Share:

Struggling

I have been struggling.
Struggling with reaching ALL the places that itch and struggling with a low energy level. All this has made me feel pathetic - so worthless. I am doing nothing all day long and I don’t like it one bit!

I have been struggling because this is not who I want to be. I should be seeing the joy of every day. I should be thanking God and praising God. But I am not...I am napping!  And all this makes me believe that God is not pleased with me. I should be doing more for Him. Then a friend reminded me that we don’t do for God. We are to trust Him and let Him lead the way. I am to follow...to trust...to have faith.

Maybe this fatigue is His way of getting me to be still, to rest in Him. And even if it means that I want/need to stay in bed a few more hours...take those hours...the blessing of fatigue and just rest in Him. Let God lead me, even in the face of fatigue.

I am at MDA today. I’ve had a long talk with the members of my care team about this study, how I am feeling and asking what my options are/will be. I will stay on the study till the next re-evaluation April 25. At that time we will know the results of the CT scan and CA125. With these results, we will have a better idea if these drugs are still being effective against the cancer (but driving me CRAZY) or if the cancer has progressed. I will wait...and Let God.

This morning driving east to the medical center God gifted me with a beautiful sunrise and He and KSBJ gifted me a song that spoke to my heart.

Even If 

by Mercyme

I know You’re able and I know You can save through the fire with You’re mighty hand.

But even if you don’t, my hope is you alone. 

I know the sorrow and I know the hurt would all go away if You just say the word.

But even if you don’t, my hope is You alone. 

You’ve been faithful, You’ve been good all of my days. 

Jesus, I will cling to You come what may

‘Cause I know You’re able, I know you can. 

I rest in His promises!

Love to you all,

Dee Dee

Leave a Comment

Share: