Zejula is the oral chemo medication I have been taking. I started my third round one week ago. The last thirty days have not been my best. It started slowly...tired, short of breath. And mostly just not being my usual joyful self. As the weeks progressed, so did the complications. The chemo was causing me to become anemic...and you would be surprised how lousy you feel when you do not have enough oxygen rich blood pulsing through your body! I felt bad and was a cranky cranky wife, mother and friend. Not the person I wanted to be and not the person I knew God had called me to be.
Then it dawned on me. I had been praying but I had not asked my prayer warriors to pray for me. The very people who had prayed me through the initial diagnosis, round one, round two and round three. What was I thinking? Did I think I could do this all by myself? I knew then, that I had denied myself God's blessings by not asking...not just for help with the chemo side effects, but also for my attitude, for the wisdom to see His grace and provisions, for asking for JOY and for a song of praise to fill my heart as I opened my eyes each morning. Why had I done that?!?!
I did not ask because of Harvey and because I felt my/our prayers needed to be lifted up for all those who had been so severely impacted by the storm/flood.
And who do you think was behind that? Satan. I did not see him coming and was totally unaware that he had a hold of me. He was filling me with LIES. And I was falling for them. He must have been thrilled that he was getting more and more control over my mind, that I was trying to handle more and more of it on my own, and that my prayers to God were getting quieter and quieter.
And then God opened my eyes. I was talking to a girlfriend about answered prayers and I realized my sin. Oh my...why wasn't I asking for prayers? I needed prayers! And then I realized that Satan had been slowly creeping into my life for the past month. Satan brought darkness and he stole my joy. Romans 8:6 The mind of sinful man is death but the mind controlled by the spirit is life and peace. Get out of my life Satan! My mind will be controlled by the Holy Spirit.
Wasn't today a beautiful day? Cool, crisp, birds singing, sun shining through the trees...a beautiful gift given to us today by our heavenly Father. And I feel great! I have not felt this good in a month. God held my hand and lead me through the darkness. The Lord has done great things for me, and I am filled with joy. Psalm 126:3
This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad! I am rejoicing.
So prayer warriors, I need prayers...
that God will protect me from the side effects of the chemo pills and that the pills would target just the cancer and leave the rest of my organs alone!
that these pills will keep the cancer from progressing
that God will put a protective hedge around me and protect me from the influence of the devil!
that He would give to each of us going through a trail...a flood, an illness, loss of a loved one, financial woes, job troubles....what we need each day to walk in confidence knowing that our God is in control.
I have missed you all so much.
Love you,
Dee Dee
Then it dawned on me. I had been praying but I had not asked my prayer warriors to pray for me. The very people who had prayed me through the initial diagnosis, round one, round two and round three. What was I thinking? Did I think I could do this all by myself? I knew then, that I had denied myself God's blessings by not asking...not just for help with the chemo side effects, but also for my attitude, for the wisdom to see His grace and provisions, for asking for JOY and for a song of praise to fill my heart as I opened my eyes each morning. Why had I done that?!?!
I did not ask because of Harvey and because I felt my/our prayers needed to be lifted up for all those who had been so severely impacted by the storm/flood.
And who do you think was behind that? Satan. I did not see him coming and was totally unaware that he had a hold of me. He was filling me with LIES. And I was falling for them. He must have been thrilled that he was getting more and more control over my mind, that I was trying to handle more and more of it on my own, and that my prayers to God were getting quieter and quieter.
And then God opened my eyes. I was talking to a girlfriend about answered prayers and I realized my sin. Oh my...why wasn't I asking for prayers? I needed prayers! And then I realized that Satan had been slowly creeping into my life for the past month. Satan brought darkness and he stole my joy. Romans 8:6 The mind of sinful man is death but the mind controlled by the spirit is life and peace. Get out of my life Satan! My mind will be controlled by the Holy Spirit.
Wasn't today a beautiful day? Cool, crisp, birds singing, sun shining through the trees...a beautiful gift given to us today by our heavenly Father. And I feel great! I have not felt this good in a month. God held my hand and lead me through the darkness. The Lord has done great things for me, and I am filled with joy. Psalm 126:3
This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad! I am rejoicing.
So prayer warriors, I need prayers...
that God will protect me from the side effects of the chemo pills and that the pills would target just the cancer and leave the rest of my organs alone!
that these pills will keep the cancer from progressing
that God will put a protective hedge around me and protect me from the influence of the devil!
that He would give to each of us going through a trail...a flood, an illness, loss of a loved one, financial woes, job troubles....what we need each day to walk in confidence knowing that our God is in control.
I have missed you all so much.
Love you,
Dee Dee
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