In my hurried state yesterday to give you an update regarding my week's appointments, I may have failed to adequately convey to you my state of mind. Therefore, some of you may have read my blog post and been concerned that I might be sad or discouraged or disappointed or confused, but that is not the case AT ALL.
Was I surprised at not qualifying for study one and study two? Yes! Although I am sure it happens lots, I did not imagine that for me. After all, who would not want me as a patient? I bake goodies for my doctors!!! (Obviously this is one point that Dr. Bevers may have not share with this new group of docs otherwise I am confident they would have been fighting over me!)
Remember physical science from high school and your weekly science experiments? You wrote an hypothesis and then designed an experiment to test that theory. When you went to test it, if you didn't have exactly what you needed for the experiment you didn't substitute the elements (unless you wanted to go back and rewrite the hypothesis.) You waited till the right elements were available. That was me in study one and study two...I was not the right element. There will be other studies...other clinical trials and I am confident those that I may qualify for will again be brought to my attention. But now I realize just how exact my elements have to be. Lesson learned.
So what am I feeling? Peace. Wonderful, refreshing, joyful, God given peace. I believe He gave me a clear sign as to His leading. I believe He knew just what I needed and when I needed it....and He gave it to me. He answered my prayer. He is the lamp to my feet and I know which way I am going. I will follow Him. The peace that comes from knowing I am in His will has filled me with such joy. I am thankful and grateful. I praise His name. I glorify Him. I am a child of the Father, and He is taking very good care of me.
I am still waiting.
I am still patient...for today. But I know that will get harder as the days progress and my imagination goes wild thinking what could be going on inside my body...but it is His will and not mine.
Thank you for loving me (us) and for caring. In spite of the week's ups and downs we are doing fine.
Love to you all,
Dee Dee
Was I surprised at not qualifying for study one and study two? Yes! Although I am sure it happens lots, I did not imagine that for me. After all, who would not want me as a patient? I bake goodies for my doctors!!! (Obviously this is one point that Dr. Bevers may have not share with this new group of docs otherwise I am confident they would have been fighting over me!)
Remember physical science from high school and your weekly science experiments? You wrote an hypothesis and then designed an experiment to test that theory. When you went to test it, if you didn't have exactly what you needed for the experiment you didn't substitute the elements (unless you wanted to go back and rewrite the hypothesis.) You waited till the right elements were available. That was me in study one and study two...I was not the right element. There will be other studies...other clinical trials and I am confident those that I may qualify for will again be brought to my attention. But now I realize just how exact my elements have to be. Lesson learned.
So what am I feeling? Peace. Wonderful, refreshing, joyful, God given peace. I believe He gave me a clear sign as to His leading. I believe He knew just what I needed and when I needed it....and He gave it to me. He answered my prayer. He is the lamp to my feet and I know which way I am going. I will follow Him. The peace that comes from knowing I am in His will has filled me with such joy. I am thankful and grateful. I praise His name. I glorify Him. I am a child of the Father, and He is taking very good care of me.
I am still waiting.
I am still patient...for today. But I know that will get harder as the days progress and my imagination goes wild thinking what could be going on inside my body...but it is His will and not mine.
Thank you for loving me (us) and for caring. In spite of the week's ups and downs we are doing fine.
Love to you all,
Dee Dee
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