If you thought I was at a loss for words these last few weeks, you were right!
Yep, it has been a strange few weeks as I have struggled with putting into words my feelings, especially on my last day of chemo. I was totally unprepared for how emotional it was for me. Stupid ugh?!? What was I thinking?!? How could it not be emotional?!? It was HAPPINESS and GRATITUDE and APPRECIATION and LOVE and THANKFULNESS all rolled into one big emotion!
Yep, it has been a strange few weeks as I have struggled with putting into words my feelings, especially on my last day of chemo. I was totally unprepared for how emotional it was for me. Stupid ugh?!? What was I thinking?!? How could it not be emotional?!? It was HAPPINESS and GRATITUDE and APPRECIATION and LOVE and THANKFULNESS all rolled into one big emotion!
The worse is behind me, and I have every reason to believe that I have a long and cancer free future in front of me. I know that I was/am very blessed to have God in control, as my Great Healer. "O Lord, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in your perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things, things planned long ago." Isaiah 25:1 I know that I am very blessed to have such a wonderful family. And I know that I am very blessed to have each of you. Without your prayers and love and support, I/we would never have been able to manage this life changing event. To simply say "thank you" is not enough...but I am at a loss for words to convey my thankfulness to everyone of you. So I sing the second verse to Sara Grove's song...
Twice as Good...
with my good news your dancing on the table
babies born Cancers gone what a to celebration
the joy of life oh what a sweet communion
shared with you
shared with you
So be warned. If I should run into you someplace, I just may start dancing on the table and singing to you and making all sorts of a joyful noise!!
What's next?
I have the answer to that. I will be under the care of Dr. Bevers for the next 5 years. I will see him every 3 months for two years then every 6 months for three years.That sounds like a wonderful plan to me. I know I am in good hands.
I stopped in to see my OB-GYN doc the other day. I wanted to thank him in person for saving my life. He thought I was being to dramatic saying he "saved my life" but honestly, if he had not been the old fashioned, careful, "let's look at everything" kind of doc, I might still be trying to figure out what was going on with my body...instead of knowing and being FINISHED with all my treatment!!! I am so thankful to God for presenting me with signs and symptoms that were so obvious I knew where I needed to seek treatment. I know many women with ovarian cancer get bounced around from specialists to specialists trying to find the answers and precious time is lost. Which goes to say, everyone needs to listen to their bodies. And to often, we keep hitting the "mute" button. Don't do it!! God may be trying to get your attention.
Sorry folks. I know this post is not funny. I continue to be in awe of these past six months. So much has changed. My life will never be the same. I continue to pray that God will continue to mold and shape me. That I will hear His voice. That I will be the person He wants me to me. He has given me another chance. I am here for a reason. I just have to figure out why. But for now, I will take this thankful heart and use it to glorify Him.
I don't imagine I will be making blog post in the future. I continue to heal. I continue to regain my strength. I continue to encourage my hair to grow...grow...grow. And my eyebrows and my eyelashes!!!
I have been forever changed ...
Thanks to each of you for walking this journey with us. It has been awesome! And I love each of you.
with every burden I have carried
with every joy it's understood
life with you is half as hard
and twice as good
with every joy it's understood
life with you is half as hard
and twice as good
Life with you really is HALF as hard and TWICE as good.
Your very grateful friend.
Dee Dee
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